This negativity has to stop, this aversion against the whole issue has to stop.

A person once told me, use emotions, use psychological warfare. Do anything you want, do anything you can, to get whatever you need to be done, to be done.

Maybe it does make sense. Maybe it isn’t that evil at all.

If this is the crap that everyone is using against one another, what difference does it make when I join in? I’d just be able to protect myself and my own interests when I use it sparingly right?

I’m so angry I don’t even think I make sense now.

I am seriously thinking of leaving. What am I staying for? This rubbish every single week? For people who I want to stay together as a team with, which I am super in love with as a whole, but yet squeezing me dry and pulling me at every single hair follicle I have?

It is affecting my normal routine, my scope, my expertise. You guys may think that it is nothing. It is not nothing.

I am wearing so thin, it’s no longer funny.

Staring at my bank account, it’s not funny too.

I always believe it is fine, everything is fine so long I enjoy what I am doing, I love the people around me, and that I will get to grow.

Having little pay is fine.

Being slightly bothered from time to time is fine.

I don’t want to settle for FINE any longer. I want to grow I can’t wait to grow. This is not aiding in me growing.

It is not mutually beneficial at all. Because if I don’t grow, I can’t grow, I am frustrated with me being stuck, it is doing no good to you at all.

I don’t think you guys get it.