hamster

I really do feel like a hamster sometimes.

I think I am driven by jealousy sometimes.

Perhaps it was what happened, that makes me so wary of you.

I don’t dare to be close to you anymore.

There used to be a time when, I would be contented just sitting there staring into your eyes, talking about nothing, drowning into your eyes. Your eyes.

Now I can’t do that anymore

But I still care about you. I probably will never get over caring about you.

The only person that seems to be able to contend you on this is him.

And I guess you know.

And looking into him, as he talk, that entirely new feeling just takes control of me.

I wish I can make sense of all these, I wish I can make sense of how I am running away from you.

I wish I can make sense of how annoyed I feel when I see you around other girls.

I wish I can savor the negativity fully before I subconsciously push that thought away and forgets it.

Maybe then, I can make sense of it.